P2, I am glad to see you posting again. Sincerely sorry about the roller coaster you are on. But seems to me you've handled things well.
I think it is a positive with how your W opened up with you. That is a big step in my mind. Hopefully a step to continued emotional sharing from your W. These things she is saying need to be put on the table no matter what. I know these things are not easy to hear but it is good you are hearing it directly from her. Certainly if you are to reconcile one day it all needs to be out there. When she opens up, continue to be understanding so that she will continue to expand on her thoughts.
If your W opens up the discussion about R then I would go with that conversation and you did. Now that she has I would back off, give her space and compassion and empathy. You can be patient and have PMA.
