I wouldn't say that the divorce filing was the wake up call for rH's husband. I think he was at the stage whereby he realized he needed her in his life. Keep in mind, he's not stated that he's ready to move back home and recommit to the marriage just yet. This could take a while for him to do so.
Calling their bluffs and mentioning divorce and filing doesn't always work and sometimes, it will give them ideas that they hadn't thought about and then they go pell mell down the hill wanting a divorce. That's why it's better not to say anything unless you are absolutely sure you are done or need to do it for financial reasons.
You have to learn to be patient and understand that his mlc didn't go full blown yesterday, but was in the works for a long time. It's going to take some time for him to work through it and it's anyone's guess as to who the man in the mirror will be when he walks through that mirror and back into the real world.
Patience and more patience...dig deeper for it.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
