Melting, thank you for your support. I like the new name! I just peeked over at your thread and am glad to see that you and your H are progressing. I know not everything is easy.
I did feel in control of the decision to cancel. I would not say I felt good about it, but in control. A little sad, too. I think for me this is how I will detach as long as I remain in contact with xSO. All the little ways in which I feel he shows me he just no longer cares. Sometimes I do have moments when I would rather be shot of him than continue.
He called me that night. I did not bring up the cancellation but he did. I think I put some pressure on him which was not good DBing when he asked me about the cancellation, I just said "well you sounded like your schedule was full.". He then gave me a different excuse than before and said he had promised to work for someone. My gut tells me this is not true.
He then said well, why don't we meet up another night? I said I honestly did not know if I could because I was there for work with some colleagues. He said he could drive in and see his brother if I was not available. I said "well, we will play it by ear, shall we?"
I hope that the fact that I wasn't willing to pretzel for his company sank in a little. Saying no to any time together when we have so little felt very counterintuitive (as I am told DB should).
I also hope that 25 and Snodderly are right when they say if he cares for me, he will wait. The problem with that is that I am not sure I believe he does care for me. He still talks of wanting to be "in love".
I do not intend to bring up the subject again. In fact, I am thinking of going a little dimmer. Until I can honestly think of him as less than a casual friend, I need some distance. And he does not seem to be in a hurry to contact me; I have not heard from him in almost three days.
I think I am just feeling a little low today. I am trying to catch up at work and this weekend we started to clean my parent's house. Very emotional and a good night's sleep would not go amiss.
