What came back was that my H is still hurting a lot about my infidelity and it can't just be wiped away. That I needed to acknowledge it more, factor it in. Probably true. Unfortunately though, the effect on me is that I'm "held hostage" a bit.
Have you guys talked about forgiveness? How H thinks he'll get there? What it'll look like? Does it understand it can't have conditions attached to it? Does he understand and accept responsibility for his role in the EAs?
On one hand, I do feel like you are in a position to talk about it and perhaps help H work thru these feelings. On the other, if he's withholding forgiveness to be in control or to further punish you, that's BS.
Originally Posted By: RegretfulLA
I still struggle a lot with those little things about H that bother me. He made dinner tonight and went to the market while I took the boys to the movies. This is great, really. But I focus on the fact that he went to the overpriced market (which is a lot farther away), because he "knows it"; he made something that was good but not particularly healthy; there was no vegetable. I didn't mention any of this to him but it all still bothers me.
To me, this is normal stuff. You just have to accept it and be thankful for the positives.
It would be easy for me to make a long list of small things that irritate the hell out of me about my W, but I came to realize that a lot of those things are things I really love about her too. On others, if it bugs me enough, I simply take the lead on them.
