You both say you want nothing more than to talk face to face with your W's. The trouble with this plan is that they don't want to talk to you.
Have you ever seen the tv show Cheaters, where they confront the wayard spouse? Never ends well, does it? If this is what you want, then confront your wife and throw it all down. You'll likely get the beginnig of closure.
I agree with AS, and will add that nothing good will happen for you guys until you realize you don't need your wife to live a happy a fulfilling life, and then set out to make it happen.
M: A really long time. Crisis: 5 years. She's still worth it.
Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose. -Viktor Frankl
