Lostforever, I just read few of you posts. [censored], i am in the same boat, just reach two weeks and a hlf weeks without contact, it [censored]. still find myself crying sometimes. I to have been trying to GAL, to many memories. I use this list of fellings to discribe how I feel, http://www.psychpage.com/learning/library/assess/feelings.html I have been in the unpleasant for the last 8 months. keep hoping she will change her mind. in [censored]. I to would love to just sit down and talk she will not even give me that. We went to mediation and she ran out of the mediator office calling me disgusting, that she never wanted to she me again, and tried to slam to door in my face.
well here we are again, Well I drove past W house 11:30pm and the only car that was there was her girl friends car. Her car is not there. I have no idea what it means, i mean it raises alot of questions now.
1- is she in the house but had to drop her car off at dealer ship.
2- does she have some one she is seeing and is sleeping at his/her house?
3- just were the hell is she
this is so not good. I came home and all i can think of is her having sex with some other person. It if killing me now. Why the hell is she just doing this and talking to me about divorce if she really is sleeping with some one. She has really just cut me off with no contact from her. I just so much want to just send her a note asking what are you doing and hey let be honest here with each other and then ask her look are you dating someone sleeping with someone...
I did start to type an email all i got was Hi Babe, then i well thought i killed it but sent it in error. So i guess she will get the email with only that in it.
What i feel like doing at this point is this,
I want to send her a text or email just saying hi and aasking for the keys back for the storage unit. Also to tell her to use the money in the bank joint account to get the late car payment up to date. the say to her I just wanted to say that I do still love you and i am totaly committed to you untill the end. I will never be the one to cheat on you. We are still married. No matter what way this turns out i do so badly want to talk to you. I know you do as well as you told me an a past email.
I hope you enjoyed the flowers i gave you but i dont think you even got them. but it is what it is.
Again i just want to say you are a very special lady and I have been blessed to have known you. I just wanted you to know that you can call or stop by anytime but best to call to make sure im home. I will never be the person who would cheet on you or anyone. I just cant be and never was that type of person who would just disregaurd the Vows we took in front of God and our friends,
so yell at me all you want guys. i know this is my own making but nothing is happening and im just messed up i guess
Lostforever, I just read few of you posts. [censored], i am in the same boat, just reach two weeks and a hlf weeks without contact, it [censored]. still find myself crying sometimes. I to have been trying to GAL, to many memories. I use this list of fellings to discribe how I feel, http://www.psychpage.com/learning/library/assess/feelings.html I have been in the unpleasant for the last 8 months. keep hoping she will change her mind. in [censored]. I to would love to just sit down and talk she will not even give me that. We went to mediation and she ran out of the mediator office calling me disgusting, that she never wanted to she me again, and tried to slam to door in my face.
Trust me i do know how you feel and it is not fun beeing here. I just do not get it at all. my W said she wanted to talk but does not. she had been replying to texts but not all the time. I dont know what to saay but you are not the only one with the problem.
im just so messed up at this time after the drive by.
I gave my w the vow line got no response to it also gave it to mil and she said your and your family and commitment , mil also told me that I should of expected this and that I needed to get a hold of myself and then later called me evil.
My question is why is she being such an a..hole to me, She told me in the being that she abt me my family, she been friends with my family since she was 16 and she did not want to loss that.
Yeah I do get it. AAll I can say is that I just can't keep doing this being this way. I need this pain and hurt to stop. I still love my W and want nothing more but to talk to her face to face and to have her come back.
I do not know how to deal with this next I want to just ask my W if she would be willing to have sex. Just a physical thing and will not mean anything. Stupid ha..
well here we are again, Well I drove past W house 11:30pm
Why are you snooping on her? Is it making you feel better about your sitch? Sounds like it's making you feel worse. So quit doing it.
Quote:
I want to send her a text or email just saying hi and aasking for the keys back for the storage unit. Also to tell her to use the money in the bank joint account to get the late car payment up to date. the say to her I just wanted to say that I do still love you and i am totaly committed to you untill the end. I will never be the one to cheat on you. We are still married. No matter what way this turns out i do so badly want to talk to you. I know you do as well as you told me an a past email.
I hope you enjoyed the flowers i gave you but i dont think you even got them. but it is what it is.
See the above edit. All the struck through stuff is just pressure, pressure, pressure. It will hurt your sitch. You need to remove all pressure from the WAS, not apply more.
Quote:
i know this is my own making but nothing is happening and im just messed up i guess
Nothing is happening, I presume you mean regarding your M? Please understand that the only think you can make happen is D. You cannot force reconciliation to happen, that is your W's decision unfortunately. So either you live with limbo or you push for D, those are your options. The thing is, if you are going to live with limbo you have to put the focus on YOU! It sounds like in your posts that you're still placing way too much focus on W and what she's doing. You've got to leave her to it and work on the one thing you can change- you. Instead of driving by W's house, drive to the gym and work out. Or to the park to go for a walk. Or to a painting class. Instead of mind-reading about what her missing car means, tell us about your latest GAL activity, how it's going, who you've met, how you're improving yourself. Change your focus!
You both say you want nothing more than to talk face to face with your W's. The trouble with this plan is that they don't want to talk to you.
Have you ever seen the tv show Cheaters, where they confront the wayard spouse? Never ends well, does it? If this is what you want, then confront your wife and throw it all down. You'll likely get the beginnig of closure.
I agree with AS, and will add that nothing good will happen for you guys until you realize you don't need your wife to live a happy a fulfilling life, and then set out to make it happen.
M: A really long time. Crisis: 5 years. She's still worth it.
Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose. -Viktor Frankl
You both say you want nothing more than to talk face to face with your W's. The trouble with this plan is that they don't want to talk to you.
Have you ever seen the tv show Cheaters, where they confront the wayard spouse? Never ends well, does it? If this is what you want, then confront your wife and throw it all down. You'll likely get the beginnig of closure.
I agree with AS, and will add that nothing good will happen for you guys until you realize you don't need your wife to live a happy a fulfilling life, and then set out to make it happen.
I have not seen the show Cheaters. I dont know how to say this in the way i need it to sound so I hope you get it. So Yes I know that nothing good will happen till i realize i dont need her. All i can say is I know this and well I am doing everything I can think of to have a happy life. I do feel ok and I am happy were I am going. I do not need my wife but I just get stuck sometimes when i'm out thinking I would love to share this with my wife. It is not that i need her it is just that I would love to share my happiness with my Wife.
Yes i do have times that are hard. Also this lingering compolsion that I want to know if she is sleeping around. I guess the reason why i want to know is that maybe it will help me make the proper next move..
I can say that this is just so very hard sometimes. Also i think part of my problem is that i stopped taking the anti depressant my Dr gave me. The withdraw from it is hard.
i hope i said all this correctly. Maybe i am totaly wrong but it is how i feel today. please feel free to help me understand what im doing
OK guys and gals i am truly having a very very hard time today well just now.
Well I just got a call from jcpenny for my W she is way past due on her bill with them. I also just got a 2nd notice from the car loan that it is late still...
I had also just been told by someone that she is seeing someone.So the past hr a lot of crap just hit me. I do not know what to do with the bills and why i am getting the call on my cell phone. I have had no contact with her for 2 weeks or close to it. I talked to her mom and she said i have to text her to tell her im getting the calls for her bills. i did say that someone told me she was seeing someone and she did not say anything.
I dont know what to do i need some help in this as to much just hit me at once. If i text her with the bills she will yell or not return any text. I do not know what or if anything should i say about me knowing she is seeing someone. I can not confirm this but what should i do. I feel like such a jurk that yes i am so upset with her but at the same time I still love her.
