Looking for a little advice and support

[cbtdad]

I have really done a good job of detaching and GALing over the past week. I'm beginning to see that things will definitely be ok with or without W in future. I would still like for us to work on it together at some point. Having said that one of the things I'm having a problem with though is deciding how much to help her out with horse show things and scheduling. She has a horse show end of April and beginning of May. Here is some texting back and forth this morning. Let me know some thoughts or advice on how to handle it maybe:

Me: What are the dates for that show end of April.

W: Last week in April first week in may

Me: What days are you going is what I'm asking? I'm up against deadlines on goals I need to hit by may 15.
I need to start putting his stuff down. I want to give you enough time to make alternate plans if I can't help the whole time

W: I really wanted to do Thursday- Sunday. Maybe the second wed if possible. I was going to see if you would maybe bring him up that Sunday and I would just keep him w me mon/tue

Me: I'll put down that you are leaving Thurs 25th. Not sure about the bringing him Sunday thing. How do you plan getting him back?

W: Idk haven't thought that far

Me: K. Well please try and have that figured out by the end of this month.
I can't continue to put my work and life secondary to your horse life.
I'm beginning to realize that we need to figure out how you are going to do this without me in the picture. I can't just stop what I'm doing. I'm sorry

W: I'm not asking you to put your life on hold

Me: Figure out which week you need the most help with is I guess what I'm saying. I can't do both weeks back to back. I just need to know by the end of the month.
I know you're not asking for me to put my life on hold. But you are asking me to help out quite a bit during weeks. Obviously weekends are ok. But it's these weekdays that I am having a problem with.
This is something you need to start figuring out anyways assuming we divorce. I think you know that though.

W: Ok but I'm not asking you for the weekdays really. Just like thurs nights...

Me: Yes that's correct assuming everything goes according to planned. If I've learned one thing with your new world is that it usually doesn't. And with a child, things certainly don't always go according to plan.
Case in point next week