AZ, I'd be lying if I said I was GAL. I have been struggling big time. I have changed my communications with her over the past few months though. I never talk about being sad that we divorced but there is a chance she sees through this.
My main issue is being out of work and running out of money. It's hard to believe that just over a year ago I was a millionaire living in a 7,000 sqft mansion on acreage and now I'm unemployed living in an apt. The job market is brutal, especially at my income level. Once I get a similar job, it will go a long way toward her seeing me as the successful, confident man she always knew me as. The current me cannot be attractive to her. Her new guy is in middle mgmt for a huge corp so she sees the wealth & stability that was once our life.
As far as the shininess coming off the relationship, I'm hoping for that but all signs point to it getting stronger & stronger. The incredible change in her is how much she goes out!! After 13 years of marriage, we went out to eat (usually as a family) fairly frequently & probably did something as a couple w/o the kids 1-2 x/ mo.
They do stuff w/o kids at least 2x per week! It really looks like she is loving this new life. She was always a very social person & didn't seem to enjoy doing parental activities, housework, or routine things like helping kids with homework, getting them ready for bed, etc. Her actions since the divorce have been a huge eye opener for me. That's why I think she's going through a MLC. I've heard they can last years. What's sad is now that we're divorced, I've no control over making sure our girls get the attention they need.
That's why I asked if your Ex was seeing someone & how busy she is keeping herself. I have friends who believe that my ex is forcing herself to be busy to fill her mind. She started dating immediately and might be trying to avoid reflecting back on her contributions to the failed marriage. In a way, all the partying is a defense mechanism & the LTR she is in a type of rebound.
I suppose it could be true, or maybe she's truly happier w/ her current lifestyle & BF. Time will tell.
Me: 48 EW: 40 D8, D12 Married 13 wonderful years D in Apr-12
