Trying to get some thoughts out here and I suspect my thinking needs to be corrected...
I think you're right
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H posted pictures on fb this week twice of hikes he's been taking. H has never hiked before, never enjoyed the great outdoors, would rarely go on walks with me, always had some ache or pain to complain about, it's a new lifestyle apparently. OW on the other hand, has years of hiking pictures posted on her fb.
Back yourself up and ask yourself if it's good and healthy behavior for you to engage in mind-reading over a few hiking pics H posted on FB. Personally I think you should just quit snooping on him on FB, and don't say you're not because that's EXACTLY what you're doing.
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Here is my complaint - it hurts to know that he's making a 'new life' for himself. With new interests that are outside our family. Here's the other side of that coin, I have been trying to make a new life for myself too so maybe it shouldn't bother me as much... I've worked really hard to GAL so why can't he? Because my GALing has been in addition to the changes made in my family, around our kids. His GALing has been only for himself, sacrificing nothing for our kids.
So your GAL is beneficial to the entire family while his GAL is selfish and harmful. And this conclusion is drawn from seeing a few hiking photos. This is why we preach not to snoop on the spouse, because it harms YOU. Turn your focus on to you and the kids. Forget about H and his activities, they are what they are. You need to detach from that.
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For a man that says he works so much, has no time, which I believe to be true because he's been like that for years - if you do have a couple days to enjoy the great outdoors 1) ask your kids to join!! 2) share your experience with kids! 3) get out of the woods and see your kids more than 4 hours a month!
Lots of bitterness here. It's OK to vent, but hopefully in venting here you're getting this bitterness out of your system and not harboring it. DB'ing is all about accepting that you've got to build a life without H. You've got to focus on you and the kids and leave him to whatever it is he's going to do. You detach from him such that his actions don't affect you. You give him time and space to sort himself out. If you let yourself get bitter about every little thing then I promise, it's going to get communicated to your H and it's going to do further harm to your M. Your H needs to see nothing but happiness, contentment and PMA from you. And your goal is for that to be REAL. You can only get there by detaching.
