Thank you for reminding me to stay focused on the goals. Here they are:
Goals:
Set boundaries, get friends, get back into our marriage bed:
a. have at least 5 minute non-work conversation with W b. cook a meal together c. see a film together d. go for a walk together, just for fun e. tell her off for something small f. do something in spite of the flinch reflex saying no g. buy shirts, perhaps on a Wednesday, when she is at home, and then wear them h. discuss US summer trip plans and extension by a week to see national parks i. talk about who sleeps where before son returns on March 22 j. open door between our rooms (when I am in son's room) k. play a game with her and possibly others (she loves Scrabble) l. touch wife, not by accident, for at least 3 seconds. m. tell her off for her bad attitude, snippiness n. tell her off for not acknowledging my existence o. re the party, tell her "yes it is fine to have one, but I wish you had asked me first instead of merely indirectly informing me" p. work on kidding her (as p. 52 of the Cunningham book suggests about confidence) q. evaluate myself using Cunningham good/bad qualities list for men r. show passion (perhaps in US national park context?) s. assert myself
W has been mostly ignoring me yesterday, not even acknowledging my existence as it were. I went for a 2 hour run, and when I am back D asks how it was, while W ignores me. Also ignores me when I am sitting at tending the fire (a friendly remark would have been easy for her to make).
Shall I mention her ignoring me to her? It feels like yet another way to disrespect me.
W and D are back at ballet tonight, so the dance teacher stuff is now working out.
Will ask therapist (who by the way is not an MC; she typically works with terminally ill people, helping them with their depression) about how to deal with W's occasional gloomy mood.
Luke
M58, xW54 S22, D18 M 1984, D 2016 Living a new life.
