Friday = She was supposed to come down to see my son. She cancelled. We texted back and forth. It didn't go well. I realized it was getting bad, so I stopped and wished her well. I also apologized for my tone.
She called later that night and we talked for about 10 minutes. Basically, I told her it was too difficult to try to be friends with her. The door was always open for her to come and see the kids. If there was an emergency, she could call me anytime, but that was all I could offer her. If she was choosing to leave, then I needed time to heal without talking every other day. All in all, it went well. She kept trying to get angry at me and I just kept saying that I understood how she felt and let her talk. I got blamed for a lot of things that never actually happened, but I listened and I think it went well.
Saturday -- She came down. She was late again so the two oldest were gone already. My youngest didn't want to talk much. So we talked for a bit and I helped her carry stuff to her car. She was angry that I packed her stuff (She has been a bit of a hoarder since her mom's death and has ALOT of stuff.) It was about 20 boxes just from our room and bathroom and she's already made 3 trips. But, I told her that we needed the space because our daughter had moved back in and is pregnant. I was very careful with everything and it had been over 3 weeks since she left.
I'm not trying to hurry her out, but she is clearly gone and seeing her things everywhere isn't helping me any. I know that this is going to take months and that I need to move forward while I wait. So, I packed.
I'm in a weird spot now. I feel better, though I wish she'd come home. However, I know I couldn't take her back now without a lot of changes and she clearly isn't going to do that now. I worry that there is no hope for us, but I feel like there's hope for me. I'm trying to remember not to be angry and to be empathetic. Since Friday, that's been working.
Anyway, I still need to work on detaching. Luckily, my sister's getting married on a cruise this week. So, my youngest and I will be gone until Friday. I'm looking forward to that and being away for 5 days should give me some space. I hope you all have a great week. I know I will.
M: 38 H: 39 D: 20 S: 18 S: 16 T: 14 Y ILYBIDKIILWY/Affair 01/12/2013 Came Back 01/15/2013 Left Again 02/13/2013
