Have been reading along, and I really do feel for you. I know the pain you're going through.
I love to write quotes down that I find motivating, inspirational, and insightful. I refer back to them in tough times.
This one made me think of you -
"Sometimes they (MLCer) twist grains of truth to manipulate you to get what they want."
And we may not always know at the time what they want. Could be to shift blame. Could be to make themselves feel better. Could be to control you. Really, we may never know.
I got the whole list of grievances too, and of course initially I did take the blame. But... Then I started to notice some things not related to our M.
The biggest thing was how my H treated our children. This once loving father was distant and irritated, totally uninterested in our little ones.
Since then, I have noticed he likes different music, wears different clothes, associates with different people, and acts like a stranger in many ways.
I know this is tough to do, but I think this is important - take a step back and look at your H objectively. What do you notice that is different or strange about him? Some things will be subtle, and others will be blaringly obvious.
Just remember, it is not you no matter what he says. And he may say a lot of things.
It's hard living with them, believe me, I know! But I will tell you, you will see all the craziness and irrational thinking/behaviors that he will not be able to hide. You will have your eyes opened when you least expect it.
Hang in there, do what you need to do for you and your kids.
Take it day by day
Bomb January 2012 - doesn't feel the same about me
~ "There is nothing love cannot face; there is no limit to its faith, hope, and endurance."
