I was thinking more of "going bananas" but your analogy is much better.
Still not sure exactly what's going on here.
Had the big talk on Thursday.
Friday, a day H is usually gone doing his thing (Hah! I like that... what a thing ow is, what a thing this whole sitch is...) he decided to NOT go. I had 2 free tix to a concert (thanks to my awesome job) which I had planned to attend with S20. But S20 didn't really want to go (my era of music, not his) and H astonished us both by indicating an interest in going. So before I knew what had happened I was going to a concert with a man I had 24 hours previously asked to leave.
The concert was good. I danced with a female table-mate to some faster songs. H asked me to dance to a ballad. Figuring I'd already broken every boundary rule in the book, I danced with him. After the concert H thanked me. (You have to understand here, H HATES concerts. So IDK WTH happened there - it wasn't like the music was even his fave.)
Saturday I got up early, drove S20 to work. H got himself up and ready to go do his thing. Supposed to have had a luncheon meeting with a card dealer he met on previous trips, some sort of "business" idea discussion. H worked up some more of his famous statistics which he explained to me in dizzying detail. I nodded polite interest (I really think he's full of hooey on this whole "pattern" thing, as well as on so many other things.) He went off and I went off to work. There was no contact all day, a slight change because he has been texting me quite often. And I didn't text him either.
H was home when I returned from work. He inquired after my day and briefed me on his. More politeness from me, then I bade goodnight. H followed me upstairs within minutes, finished watching his show in bed.
There is no physical contact, although by morning H is rather more on my side of the bed than his. He is making his own breakfast and lunch. I haven't done his laundry.
He did bring up, again, some area of Canada that is paying truck drivers exorbitant amounts of money so I think he's considering that.
Today we both work. Tonight, we of course normally watch "The Walking Dead". This is a whole family tradition so I'm thinking I'll just join the fam in the living room for that show then head to the bedroom.
I really can't figure out what to tell the kids if/when things finally reach the surface. Probably will become more obvious to me as the sitch evolves.
This whole boundary thing is hard for me. I wanted to contact H yesterday - usually do just to make sure he's made it to his destination. And it would be so easy to lean into him in the bed. I have to figure out that I really want self respect more than I want a crumb of H.
New idea for me, going to be a bit of a challenge.
Me 46 H 56 M 22 yrs S22, D20, Twin Ss18
You teach people how to treat you by what you allow. What you stop. And what you reinforce. ~~~~~~~ A lack of boundaries invites a lack of respect.
