Tad I truly believe the only way you are going get thru this anytime soon is to pretend she is dead. You, like me and some others, have got to wipe her out COMPLETELY. It would have taken me alot longer unless I was forced to do this. Stop asking ANYONE about her. Stop mentioning her to your sons or asking about her. If your sons need to vent or talk about her, listen but dont get involved. UNLESS their life is at risk.
You have got to do this or you will remain here for a very long time. It would be even better if you moved far away, but I know that is a stretch and you have children.
Tad I use to think my friends were heartless, but I am sure they were just tired of hearing the same stuff over and over and over. They wanted me to heal. Sure its hard but at some point you have to stop beating your head against a rock.
You also, like Antonia said, and also like me, are very needy and sounds like you put your marriage above ALL else. That is not healthy. You could not exist without your marriage, or so you thought. It was everything. So its gonna be harder for you. This is why I say you are gonna have to really cut ties. Unless you want to be here yrs. from now.
Tad it happens. Divorce happens. MLC happens. People change. Its hard to accept but you HAVE to accept it.
We never thought it would happen to us but it did. You cant make somebody love you or want to be with you. I tried. They have to do that on their own. Who knows why she got a wild hair. The fact is, she did and wanted out. THIS IS HER LOSS and maybe one day she will figure that out.
AND yes she is angry, but she isnt the first. My ex is angry and I dont know why either. Even after 4 yrs. he is. I am trying not to wonder why anymore. He just is. Thats his prb now. and your ex's too.
Tad you can wallow and wallow or you can move on. There is life after divorce. What if you had been married for 40 yrs. and had grandkids? That has happened Tad. We are not the first and sadly we wont be the last.
