I refuse to act bitter & angry towards my H. He is the father of my children & I want a good relationship with him for them. The momentary relief of treating him badly won't be worth a strained relationship. They don't think I should have him at the ultrasound, etc.
Im walking this how I am, and they will chose their path. It's really hard for me to "disappoint" people, but I do know today that this boundary is for me.
Tallula,
I think that what you wrote ^^^^^ says it all. For me (and for many others here) the hardest part of this process has been to actually keep the road home paved and smooth. To act with empathy and kindness to our spouses in the face of deceit, lies, selfishness and abandonment. We struggle with being detached enough and loving enough to avoid the temptation of acting like a victim or being punitive, judgmental or vindictive, even when we think we are not doing so.
One of the things I have come to admire of you, despite of how tough and recent your situation is, is your ability to be so strong, to act kindly to your H and to really focus on what is in your best interest and that of your kids, despite how much you are hurting.
Yes, enforcing boundaries with those we love is tough, doing the right thing is tough but like you say, you are walking this HOW YOU ARE. In the end, the only person you need to answer to is the one staring back when you look in the mirror.
((((tallula))))
Me & H: 44 D7, D6, S3 Together: 20y, M: 17y EA: 11/13/10, Sep: 12/23/10 EA becomes PA: Spring 2011 H filed for D: 09/06/12 D Negotiating began 2/15 OW seemingly gone on 3/15 Still negotiating D
