Mana Mana! Doo Doo Doo Doo Doo

[2chiquitos]

Hi Tallula,
Have I posted on your thread before? If not here is my advice...

When I was 8mos prego I discovered clues of the affair. 3 days after baby was born it was confirmed.

Do I regret including him in my pregnancy and childbirth? In the past I woulda said no. Let me explain why...
-I saw it as my daughter's history.
-I wanted him to be able to tell her about her birth as my dad did every birthday.
-I didn't believe it was my day but our (my daughter and myself) day. And I know she would want him involved. My dad did a lot of stupid things but I'm so grateful that he shared very special moments with me and my birth is one of them. His relationship with my mom is separate from my relationship with him.
-I thought it would help him WAKE up from all this. (didn't make a dent!) but this was me trying to control and that's very childish.

Now that I'm past all the emotions from discovering the affair, I'm clear headed and can say that I would not have had H involved in the pregnancy or the delivery. Why?
-I wanted to have a natural birth and couldn't focus on something other than what I was suspecting that he was doing.
-I would've wanted people in the room that were there to help me and not hurt me (of course not intentionally but I wanted to be in a healthy frame of mind)
-It would've helped me distance myself from the sitch and just focus on baby and me.

I don't rack my brain from all the shoulda's because in the end I believe I made the best decision given the circumstances. I was in a very very difficult sitch and I did my best!

You will too!