What I'm learning from H stages, myself!

[albamarie]

For the last 2 nights my H has been opening up to me and telling me things I was not aware of regarding his childhood. He's told me some very sad stories, about abuse and abandonment. His defense mechanism he uses is to say he's glad he had it hard, he's glad to be angry and living on the dark side of life.

He been home with me for 2 days and nights, helping, shopping, and talking as these feelings are flooding out of him. There were times he pissed me off and he saw it, but I continued to listen as he continued to tell me how sorry he is that I am a casualty.

I have read Snodderly-In Tandem--MLC and Dep. It was like reading the complete story of my H word for word. He has all of symtoms and expresses all of the feelings that are associated with them. I will be reading it again, and again, thank you Snodderly.

H is sinking lower and lower into what seems to be a permanent condition of misery. I wonder if there is a part of the brain that can be damaged by this, I thought I read somewhere there is a gland or something that once the dep has reached a certain point ( time, depth) that this part? can no longer be recovered and the patient is damaged for life.

Its very sad, he does L us so much that it is actually killing him to live up to "his" expectations, regardless of what we think, he's not good enough or doing enough for us. He said and I am seeing that he is trying, he does want to be close to us, he's reached out trying to laugh, and play and be by my side for a few weeks now but he cannot do it alone. He's still not thinking about getting help, he will fail, and I feel so bad watching him just waiting for the dep to kick is ass again for days.

The best cure for felling bad though is remembering ea is still in the picture and he is still living the lala land idea of free living. No matter how much I know and he says it's a friend-enemy sitch, and it is very volatile, it just shows me how much he's not ready to improve himself, or commit to a healthy life with his family.

Thanks for the read!!! I'm downloading some book suggestions as well!