~need advice with going dark~

[Spartan]

Negril - just got caught up on your sitch a little bit. If you think this is MLC then you know you're in for a long, hard road my friend. There is absolutely nothing you can do to speed up the process, all you can do is get out of the way and not let it consume you. Quoting something that was recently asked of me:

The goal, is to outlast her MLC. Can you do that ? Do you want to do that ?

Take some time to think about these and be honest with yourself. I see a lot of your posts revolve around what your W is doing with this young asshat. You have to let it go and start living your life. Your post from JP's thread is what actually got my attention tonight:

Thanks JP.... sorry for the moment of weakness... but wow that hurt.... and worse yet she looked good..... of course he looks like shaggy for scoobby doo... .and that's no lie... he actually does...

you have been thru something like that I assume??? it destroyed my night.... 40 secs messes up my who night... I came home and cancelled my plans for the night... (just hanging with friends).... but still.. like someone punched me in the gut... how someone who is 40 can be with a 23yr old loser who lives with him mom still??? what did I do wrong in life...

she had it all here.. a new house... a new camaro... going back to school... it was all hers.... and she burnt it down with no regrets.....

Did cancelling your plans tonight help you at all? My guess is it likely did the opposite. Hanging with your buddies likely would have taken your mind off your sitch at least for a little while.

As snodderly posted to you earlier:

The best thing you can do is live your life as if she may not return. If you know that you have some changes to make, then make them and be sure that they are permanent and not to win her back. Take up some hobbies or do the things that you've put off while she is time traveling. You are now on your own journey of self discovery. Time, patience and knowledge will help you in traveling the mlc path.

what did I do wrong in life...

If you believe this is MLC then you know your W is dealing with a lot of stuff right now and who knows how much of it is because of you. Ask the question more as a way to look inside yourself and figure out things you want to change for YOU and not feeling like a victim of MLC.

I feel your emotion and have felt very similar feelings. Problem is, that I learned the hard way, is feeling like the victim will get me nowhere I want to be.

If you haven't already, I would dive into the MLC resource threads and really try to figure out what you're up against. Make sure to check out heartsblessings post about 6 stages of MLC. You'll soon realize that there is a definite script to MLC that they all seem to follow and it $ucks for us LBS. In learning the script it has helped me deal with it when my W starts saying some of the crazy things. My favorite post is MLC for dummies (once you've done the other research). Pretty sure my wife bought smurfs 'book' and used many of the lines word for word. Good times!