First Timer

[wolverine1997]

Well, I think that I will still keep my original goals. But the one good thing from this therapist fiasco is that it will help me to define/refine my goals more clearly. I can see that I need to do a 180 and make validation one of my goals for better communication. When she tells me how she feels or expresses her opinions on our marriage or about me I always want to tell my side of the story. I need to listen more and validate her feelings, even if I do not agree with them. Her opinions about my feelings or thoughts are often not correct but they are still her feelings and I need to validate them. Plus, this will also avoid potential fights.

Also, I have to not move to fast or try to rush our relationship. When we are doing something together or as a family and it is going very well I have to make sure that I do not go to fast, trying to re-establish the relationship in one day. I have to avoid pursuing in those situations, go with the flow and take small baby steps.

Now here is my next dilema. Tomorrow is our 22 anniversary. What do I do? Over the last few years I would just give her a card since she would not accept any gifts. Last year I found the card in the garbage unopened. This year we are speaking and doing things together. We have planned a family trip together and talk more. But I don't want to over do anything and push her away. I figured that I would still give her a card. What do you all think?