My wife of 30 years is having an affair with a mutaul friend of ours. Not sure how long it has been going on, but I think for aleast a year. She does not know that I know about it, and has noticed my change in attitude and demenor. She keeps asking me what is wrong, but I can't bring myself to confront her with what I know. What is so confuseing to me about all of this is that she is still very loving to me and seems to be genuingly concerned about my well being. She still tells me she loves me, and will hug and kiss me the same way she always has. The only thing I have seen any change in is our sex life. She has refused my advances on a few occasions and the few times we have done it, she seemed a little disengaged. I concluded that she might have been feeling guilty having sex with me and felt like she was being unfaithful to the other guy. I'm not sure what to do at this point. She is obviously in love with this man and is very happy with their relationship. She and our mutual friend still expect me to hang out together and do things. I'm not sure how I'm going to react when we do finaly get together. I don't think she is looking to dump me and be with him. She seems to want to have both worlds simultaneously, the routine and security of our marriage and the excitement and fun of the other man. I'm so confused about what to do or how to react. Its so hard knowing my wife and my friend have this secret life together and I'm not included. I feel very hurt and alone right now.
