They say here that even if you were the "perfect" spouse, they would still go mlc because it is their stuff from long before they are trying to work out, and the LBS is the handiest, safest target, for now. That will change, hopefully, as they work through their process and start seeing that what they use to distract themselves from their issues isn't working and see that they STILL aren't happy.
In my sitch, W has come to determine that I do NOT actually have horns and an 8 foot tail coming out of my backside...it has taken a while. You need to keep your changes growing, evolving for you, show her the improved you, though she will NOT "notice" for a while, or at least tell you, that's why they have to be for you, irregardless of whether the M is reconciled...I have to do the same...
And patience...a truckload of that!
Become the man she'd be a fool to leave, that is your job right now. Stay out of her way, and stay out of your own way with old, standard behaviors that she expects from you.
My 2,5 cents...
Hang in there! T^2
In the depths of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer. - Albert Camus
Uncertainty is the very condition which impels people to unfold their powers.-Eric Fromm
You need to keep your changes growing, evolving for you, show her the improved you, though she will NOT "notice" for a while, or at least tell you, that's why they have to be for you, irregardless of whether the M is reconciled...I have to do the same...