On multiple occasions when things were bad, he told me that he felt neglected and not a priority in our marriage. The other thing that I believe was a "turn off" for him was that I frequently cut him off when he was talking (irregardless what he was talking about) and didn't allow him to express himself. I wasn't always like that, but somehow, I did become this person pre-BD. This is my major 180 that I have done, not only with him, but with every one. I feel good about it as it was very dis-respectful and I can see how someone would be hurt by it.
and
Quote:
I also feel from my perspective that our marriage got to this point because we did not spend quality time with each other. It was always about other things, kids, work, house, etc...
I think we all have done this to one extent or another, it's just how life goes and we are getting an opportunity to correct some things, eh?
I had to work on the "really listening" too, and the asking questions the "right" way to show I was listening, not just thinking ahead to my own response, opinion, etc. I too use it everywhere and with everyone, got to get it cemented into the new me...and I really like it as you do...and I like the new me, sounds like you are liking the new you
Hang in there and keep those changes going!!!
T^2
In the depths of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer. - Albert Camus
Uncertainty is the very condition which impels people to unfold their powers.-Eric Fromm
