Strange evening with W. She actually pushed and insisted on sitting down together and planning a vacation. So, we did. At one point she teased that I would be making all the sandwiches and taking care of the boys during the trip (like last year). I laughed and said I knew there was an angle on why she wanted to go with me. She said, "I don't hate you. It's good for the boys, and we've never been on a vacation with just the four of us. Maybe we'll have a renewal or reconciliation." I said well, that would be nice.
We then discussed replacing my truck and the finances involved. She insisted that I get a new one, and that she would help pay for it. Then she asked about whether or not we are current on our tithes at church. In the next breath she said i bet you regret spending money on me last year, as if to say it was a waste of my time. To me, it was just a weird discussion considering the current state of our marriage. At some point, she said that having her time away at night is saving her life. I'm really hoping that she will stop taking the anti-D. I would love to see if that changed her for the better.
This morning she came in complaining about being tired. She said she went to bed at 3:30 this morning. Couldn't explain why other than to say she had stuff on her mind.
If I explained the actions of my W to anyone else they would think I was making this stuff up. Who could be so inconsistent with their words/deeds? I'm so thankful that I found this board and have people who can read this and recognize that her behavior is "normal."
I have to remind myself to expect nothing. She already has plans for going out Saturday night. I'm starting to think its not so much like a roller coaster, but more like a washing machine in the agitator cycle. Quick, sudden changes in direction that keep your head and heart spinning.
M - 42 W- 37 S's - 9,6 M-12 T-14 FIL- diagnosed with fatal disease spring 2011 ILYBNILWY - march '12 FIL - died jan '13 W Moved out week later
