Life with a Cake Eater

[mizjjd]

I am not sure exactly "what" the addiction is? Yes, I know he gambles - but am not convinced its "an addiction". It doesn't appear to be a compulsion.

He doesn't smoke cigarettes. He rarely drinks, and then its perhaps one beer, or one glass of wine. He doesn't do drugs. He doesn't view porn. He doesn't go on spending sprees.

What he does is throw himself into various interests. In the 20 years we have been married he has

* spent hours building small watercraft out of pvc and fiberglass.

* spent hours and hours golfing - was hellbent on joining the seniors tour.

* spent hours and hours playing and coaching ice hockey.

* spent hours and hours building an enormously successful business

* spent time pursuing other women

* spent time coaching soccer

* spent hours and hours and hours building our house - BY HIMSELF

* now he spends time gambling.

But as I posted earlier, MOST of the time is in "preparation". He plays a software simulation game and keeps track of every statistic you can imagine - entering them into vast spread sheets and spending more time analyzing them. He started with $300 of his biolife money and now has $1700. When he goes gambling he keeps more stats, comes home and enters THAT info into spreadsheets too. He says he sees "patterns" and honestly, I do believe, its these "patterns" that addict him. He only plays black jack or Texas Hold'em. No bets on sports, horses etc.

So WHAT would you say he's addicted to? Projects?

Don't get me wrong, when I say he spends "hours" I mean every free minute goes into whatever the pursuit of the year is. And I don't think this is mentally healthy because he does whatever "it" is to the exclusion of his family. And the ow pursuit, well THAT is certainly damaging to the family.

I just don't see where this falls into traditional "addiction" treatment.