I still think your wife is craving a more visceral connection with you, and until you summon up the nerve to attack that, I think you're largely going to be chasing smokescreens.
Starsky
I continue to ponder the words visceral connection. Getting to a level of good enough in this area of the R is probably the foundation, that will prevent any significant backsliding, and move the R out of turbulence. My W does appear to want connection with me. She wants my time, for me to listen, and to be a social partner.
Religion for me in the past has been more of an intellectual exercise, and reminder of how to be moral in the world. I resumed church attendance over a year ago. It began again as an intellectual effort, but has evolved into being a blend of intellect and experience (head and heart). I continue to read to sharpen the intellect, but what gets me back on track is the experience of God (as I understand it).
People at work are commenting behind the scenes, that I seem more engaged with clients and colleagues. They have simple reasons for this. I know that it's been a process over the recent years, due to the addition of activities that are bearing fruit.
My W responds harshly when there is a lack of connection, or when I act in self-interest, and not as a partner. I summon strength and listen to her feedback, and make corrections as-needed. I'll agree with Starsky, that there needs to be continued improvement in connection, particularly from the heart.
CL
CL 53 W 54 M 20 yrs. 03'-09' Separation + Old Patterns + GAL 10-14' Piecing
"The Master allows things to happen. She shapes events as they come."
