I like that you invited your neighbor in for coffee. I think it was nice, compassionate, not too busy to be real, independent thinking, doing something interesting, not about your W nor aimed to get her reaction, and also slightly adventurous all wrapped up in one.
Adinva 51, S20, S18 M24 total 6/15/11-12/1/12 From IDLY to H moving out 9/15/15-3/7/17 From negotiating SA to final D at age 50 5/8/17-now: New relationship with an old friend __ Happiness is a warm puppy.
D's birthday yesterday - we bought a yoga mat and a running jacket. I sometimes get her a present myself, but not this time. Made dinner with her. Went to Crossfit class again.
Map day today. Public birthday party for D tomorrow.
Luke
M58, xW54 S22, D18 M 1984, D 2016 Living a new life.
Yes. It was all very complicated with our three schedules, but we had dinner together. I asked how her (W's) home-made beignets went over at school, so the dinner was middling conversation-wise.
M58, xW54 S22, D18 M 1984, D 2016 Living a new life.
Our summer travel to the States will be the next real discussion with my W, one that we need to have soon. It is possible that W will agree with my "since we've paid so much and are already in the area, let's travel for two weeks" plan, but last year, when we were all in San Francisco, having paid a bunch to get there, she and the kids only stayed one week, something that seemed crazy and wasteful to me.
So making a plan ahead of the discussion seems a good idea:
anticipating her possible objections, starting with the hardest first:
1. no, we are only staying a week (just because I want it that way) 2. let's not spend so much money on travel (and be at home instead) 3. we are moving (after selling the house) and the kids need to help
Any suggestions for responses? I can see 1. boiling down to a contest of wills, 2. eliciting a "but we can afford it, and the American West is a beautiful place", and 3. causing all hell to break out when I say that I am not planning to move.
Of course, W could travel back by herself, and the kids and I travel some more. I don't want to create a "kids caught in the middle" situation though.
Could also see S and I traveling more together (he said as much: "I'm always up for visiting National Parks!"), and my D is supposed to spend some more time in California with MIL and me, so maybe D stays more in any case.
I'd be most obliged for any suggestions -
Thanks,
Luke
M58, xW54 S22, D18 M 1984, D 2016 Living a new life.
Not much. We are going because it is my MIL's 75th birthday. MIL has determined where it will be (Wyoming) and when (after getting dates from those involved). D says she will be staying with Grandma (MIL) for a while, but I don't know when that was determined. As I usually work when at Grandma's, some synchronization with me and work will be needed. D is also too young, I think, to fly alone, and so I will accompany her back to where she presumably will need to change planes (Newark). While we are there, I plan to take her to NYC, which I usually do during a long layover in Newark. W, I hope, will pick her up at the other end, and so D will never be unaccompanied on the ground.
Map is up. Looks pretty good (I've been looking at Crater Lake for too long).
Luke
M58, xW54 S22, D18 M 1984, D 2016 Living a new life.
