Need to let go

[littleGTO]

Thanks, Tori!

I had an IC session today. I wasn't sure what I wanted to focus on, but it seems when I get there it all poors out.

Basically after I talked & cried for 1/2 hr, my C said she sees that I have more to a "new place." That I am really starting to grieve the ending of my M. Not sure what all the months prior to today I was crying about....?

But, I think she is right. Not only do I feel more emotional lately, I feel different. Like there is really no going back. The past is over, and our M is too. I don't even know where I stand any more. I know my hope is really about nill. And, I also know I wouldn't accept H back w/out A LOT of changes.

SO, not sure where that leaves me. Moving forward, slowly, I guess. Grieving and allowing myself to feel all the emotions that come to me.

I just have never been here. What do you do to move on from a 20-year relationship? When you share 3 growing boys to co-parent. When there is an OW in the picture. When H is not the person I've known all these years. I just don't know.

But, I know I WILL get through this! And, I have a tremendous support group. I have 3 beautiful boys (and a very sweet little kitty).

Looking forward to this new meetup tennis group Sat night. Not looking forward to boys all sleeping over at H's aptmt and waking up to an empty house (except little Lulu!).