Tad, 25 and Antonia gave some great advice. Let that sink in.
As you do that, I wonder about this:
Quote:
The hate and anger that she still displays is beyond belief.
Really? At this point, I'd have to say that it is not beyond belief. Remember she is hurting, Tad. Not only because of whatever her issues are, but because she is also grieving the loss of the marriage and her best friend. Why do it? I dunno. But if you recall, I have gone through and still see some of the things you do. My ex remarried pretty quickly to the OM. I know that it has NOTHING to do with me, other than perhaps an attempt to try and hurt me and not be lonely. Can you imagine that for a second Tad?? If that is not batchit crazy and just plain sad, I do not know what is. That's trying set yourself on fire to get smoke in somebody's eyes.
But I digress. While you heal that wife-sized hole in your heart, one thing you can't know is, "why?" That's beyond your knowing. But you do know the "what". And I have to ask, if you keep looking at her, do you expect to see differently from her? I think deep down inside you know better. This new her is going to hate and blame etc until she finds a new target to hate, or until she figures it out. My guess is she won't because she can't. That's sad and worth grieving for. For a while. It's past time for that grieving though. It is what it is, and it won't be different.
And you did NOT cause it. You could NOT have done anything different no matter how much she tries to make it about you.
My advice? Stop looking. Stop being surprised by it. Understand that what is, is. Accept that. Accept that you don't want somebody like that in your life. Accept that she is somebody like that, and you deserve better.
And let yourself heal. It hurt. You were wrongly accused. You are better than that and you have suffered long enough. Believe that, brother. No matter what you *could* have done to her, you have suffered long enough for those sins. Don't accept any more than that.
Accept that what is, is. Accept that she is what she is. And you are what you are. It's ok to have grieved like you did. But it's not ok to put your life on hold to continue grieving, and by continuing, you are not letting the better parts of your life in.
Accept. You have nothing to lose by doing so, Tad. And everything to gain.
AJ
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK Put the glass down... "Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
