Don't want my 2nd marriage to end in divorce too

[2ndtimearoundCA]

Here is my story:

Day 1 Wednesday Feb 20 2013
My wife had a work event and I had a ski trip so we would not be seeing each other until Sunday the 24th. We attempted to make love that morning but I had a performance issue. It doesn’t happen all the time but I know it is something I need to get help for.
Nonetheless, later that night we exchanged some lighthearted texts and each of us signed off with a ”Love U”.
We exchanged a couple more texts over the weekend but wife was not very responsive and I didn’t really give it a second thought until later. She spent much of the weekend reading the 50 Shades of Grey books. My wife suggested that I read the first book and since we share a kindle account I would see her progress whenever I logged in to read.
Background information:
My wife works very hard at a job that just about kills her and she is the primary income earner for our household. I am semi-unemployed working 1 part-time job and two other contract work jobs but the work has dried up. I have been looking for more work but in my wife’s eyes probably not hard enough. I have a 5 month job assignment coming in April but since Christmas I have been out of work and looking. I do a lot of the household chores and cook meals but probably could have done more.
I have two teenage kids from my first marriage who live with us every other week and my wife has a college-age son that lives with us full time while going to school.
Sunday February 24
I return home and my wife is a bit cold and this continues for a couple of days. I assume it is primarily job stress because she spends a lot of time talking to me about problems at work. She does this a lot and sometimes I try and help her solve problems. In hindsight I should have probably just listens and given her a hug.
Tuesday February 26
Wife is telling me about a work problem and I try to give her advice and she gets a little mad. I say sorry and she then says it is ok… But before she walks away she gets very angry and says she needs to be taken care of and I am not doing what needs to be done. She wants to know why I don’t just hold her and tell her it is going to be OK? When I try, she pushes me away and says it is too late and she is numb.
We had a vacation planned for the end of March and my wife has decided to go with her mom instead of me.
Friday March 1
Unhappiness in the relationship leads to discussions of divorce.
Saturday March 2
Wife goes to a friend’s Birthday party and asks me to stay home; She doesn’t think we should do things as a couple anymore. My wife is usually one to leave early but in this case she decides to return home at 3 AM. I pretend to be asleep and say it didn’t bother me the next day.
Monday March 4
I rub my arm against her in the middle of the night and she moves to sleep in another room.
Tuesday March 5
I leave and spend the night with my parents.
Wednesday March 6
I come home but stay out late with a friend.
Thursday March 7
Wife informs me that her and her son are looking for a home to rent.
More information
Each morning during this time wife and I have gone to the gym together and we have cooked meals together we generally get along for small talk but today I ask for logistics of her move because It will affect us financially because we will need to support two households.
Wife said that she missed me a bit when I didn’t come home Wed. night but the positives of that exchange felt ruined by the more serious discussion of money and my kids.
Wife leaves for another work event tonight (March 7) and could come home tomorrow but said that she may stay and extra night and when she gets back her weekend is full of her alone activities.
This is my second marriage and during my first divorce I found the divorce busting materials a bit too late. This time I feel well prepared. My biggest problem is that the necessity of dealing with important issues pushes wife away more. I try to be calm and nice but I do not want to lose my current house and my wife. It is also of course very difficult to control emotions and I tend to backslide a bit. I am just looking for others to bounce ideas off of as I go through the process. I would really love to bust this divorce.
Am I posting in the right place?
Thank you all for your help!
2ndtimearoundinCA