I knew better...but I did it anyway...

[littleGTO]

HI, Sweet! I was soooooo excited to hear from you! I've been wondering/worrying about you! COngratulations on your new baby boy! What a great blessing!! I'm so happy he's healthy & so are you!

My 3rd was also very quick and al naturale! So, I understand your PAIN!!! But, that will fade into a distant memory shadowed by the unconditional LOVE you will share FOREVER with this little boy! (BTW your son was EXACTLY the same same as my third son!)

I don't think you're being mean to your H AT ALL! You allowed him to see your son several times already and you've given him a day when he came see him weekly.

YOu are right that he doesn't have a clue as to what he will be missing out on. So much! But, that isn't for you to bother yourself with--he is obviously thinking like a stereotypical WAS.

One point I want you to consider--GOD didn't DO this to you. HE gave us FREE CHOICE and in doing so people make mistakes. BIG MISTAKES sometimes. But, HE is walking this journey with you and your children. HE will take care of you and watch over and LOVE you. And HE will guide your path to unbelieveable happiness. You need to believe this is true!

I have contact w my H every day due to our children. It IS hard, but you will get "numb" to seeing him after while-at least I'm starting to. He just isn't the same person...he looks the same, talks the same, but that is just the outside. On the inside he is completely different. Maybe that will help you to realize the H he used to be is no longer in existence.

I know you don't want him around, but maybe your son's birth will help to soften him up where his family is concerned. Maybe he will try to play a more action role in his children's lives. Maybe he will start to realize what is actually IS missing in his life. Time will tell.

Take care of yourself and don't waste your emotional energy thinking about your H. You have far better things/people in your life to focus your attention and energy on!

Love to you and your family!!!