Here we go loopty loo. Here we go loopty li.

[Raine]

I wasn't expecting to be dealing with H opening up at this point.

Really? At what point did you think that was coming? Or did you?

Haha! No, I did not think this would be coming for awhile. I have had the mindset of at least one year post BD for this replay stage, where he would pretty much be gone. It's only been 7months since BD. Going off of the "If it's one year since BD, he is in replay. If it's 18M, he is likely still in replay. If it's two years, he may be coming out of replay." And with that I have set myself up as he will be with OW and shun me and not talk to me, and any time he does I need to keep myself at a distance. But I don't know where any timeline is at this point. It has been two years since first infidelity, and I fully get this is not a one size fits all.

Your ego getting bruised a little at that one? I imagine so! But another way to look at (and who really knows what he means) is that he feels "safer" with you and sharing his feelings.

Totally! Hello doormat! You're right, that I need to look at it positively. It was just two months ago he told me I would never be able to forgive him for all he is done and we need to start working on the D. Lots of affirmation has taken place since then.

I'll check out the archives. I've read through quite a few of the success stories, but I need to find more about coming out of the fog. I've also been reading more of Hero Spouse today, especially about Liminal Depression. This hit the mark: "The MLCer realizes their mistakes and regrets their actions, and yet they are unwilling or unable to resolve the problems they created. What should the spouse do? Nothing seems to work anymore. Many spouses give up as the situation seems hopeless. The MLCer may still seem to cycle, but nothing seems real. They flirt occasionally and yet still seem sullen, listless and disinterested. Why won’t they just wake up?"

I told him I was sorry he felt that way.

Great way to end the conversation. I applaud that and I believe you meant it.

Completely. Broke my heart he felt that way, about the home we built together, full of all of our memories and 99% of his belongings.

You're the best AJ!