Emotions when you receive the papers is to be expected. There is no way around it. Ride the wave and try to get off at the next exit.
There comes a time when you realize that there is nothing more you can do... but that moment does not come easily nor does it come as a concrete answer.
It's more of just a consistent feeling.
But IMO in order to get there, You need to look at your fears. I had SO many fears that stopped me from signing those papers. Fears of being alone to fears of mx and I never speaking again.
Stepping into the unknown is so scary.. because in your head - you are saying "by doing this.. I'm allowing for the possibility of my deepest fears to come true"
Because in all honesty - they might.
But at the same time - life could be better than ever before!
Regardless, its only when you look at and confront those fears that you can see the motivation behind your actions.
And as much I know you don't want to lose your M, my guess is that you are way more scared than anything else. (yeah I know.. I'm mindreading)
Because if you weren't, you would be able to look at her actions and your own and see the truth. Not the truth that you hope or want to be... but what actually is.
It's not my place to tell you to sign or not sign the papers.. Only you can answer when you are done or have done your best.
I'm only encouraging you to dig deeper.
The answer does lie within if you are brave enough to look.
and NG.. you are BRAVE.
((( )))
M(f): 40 D'ed: 8/12
Show empathy when there's pain. Show grace when warranted. Kindness in the midst of anger. Faith in the face of fear.
