The Ultimate Getting Back Together Thread

[MrBond]

My ex absolutely had/ is having a MLC."

You don't know that for sure.

"She was a bored stay-at-home housewife who was 39, almost 40 & wanted the excitement of sneaking around and feeling admired. She was a former actress who loved to be the center of attention & she is most definitely a narcissist."

All of this is mindreading on your part. That's all YOUR opinion of her which isn't going to do any good in fixing the situation. All of it is purely judgemental on your part. You have to start seeing things from your W's point of view.

"She went from guy to guy after the D"

She is an adult and is free to do whatever she wants after the D.

"and even had liposuction & hair removal (very unlike her)."

Have you ever thought that alot of it is based on a woman's sense of self-worth? A woman's appearance is very much tied to how their self-esteem is. If she wasn't happy with how she looked, she has a right to change it. She might have even said something to you before but you blew it off.

"She is out of work but still spends money like crazy (I'm talking $5K/ mo)."

Again, her choice. You're D'd. She is an adult. Start understanding her POV and you'll understand how to get her back.

"Cadet, Oh, no I do not know how long MLC lasts. How long does it last?"

MLC isn't a "disease". It's a life change. We all go through it. We all go through midlife "transitions" where we adapt and change building on what happened in our lives before. It becomes a "crisis" when you scrap everything and start from scratch. They say that an MLC takes anywhere from a few months to 5+ years. HOWEVER, because it is a LIFE change, what the person in crisis does during that period is going to dictate how life turns out. It's not something that people necessarily "snap" out of.

There are basically 5 triggers that can set off an MLC. Age, death of a close person, change in job, empty nest, new child - basically whenever there is a life change.