Thanks

[PatientMan]

I told OM that he is not to be in any contact with my W while we are still married. That was last January, after BD#2. I spoke with him again a few months later after BD#3 (it was discovered by OM's W that they were communicating again). Both times I was more than cordial, though I am certain he was frightened of me.

He either:

1) isn't threatened by me (not likely)
2) has some sort of assurances from my W (very possible)
3) thinks he can get away with it (after being caught twice, this makes no sense, but is possible)
4) isn't thinking clearly

It could be any combination of those and perhaps even something I can't think of.

A friend reminded me that my faith doesn't allow for me to respond to him the way in which I would prefer. My human failings sometimes don't care about my faith.

W seems to be responding positively to the continuance of "acting as if" and me sitting on my picnic blanket turned away from the castle she has barricaded herself in. This probably means nothing and is an amicable mirroring of treatment.

We had a good talk Sunday night. In an hour I did most of the listening and only regret saying two things, neither of which were terribly bad. They were just "caught up in the moment" slips in judgement (from what I learned here) that I won't over-analyze as having more impact than they likely did.

AnotherStander, I very much appreciate your responses and time for my thread.

Just try to keep in mind that OM is a symptom of a problem, not the problem itself.

I DO recognize that, and I recognized that very early on. However, as so many understand, it is not a benign symptom.

Right now I am concentrating/trying to concentrate on being a man only a fool would leave. Right now I'm not ready to ring any bells that can't be un-rung.