I know it shouldn’t be this way. I should be able to control my feelings and now let her affects me but is that really possible?
It is absolutely possible.
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In my heart I know detaching is the key and I tell myself that every day but putting that in practice is a different story.
How long has it taken for most to detach?
Like Breakdown said it's different for each person, but for me detachment started at separation but I think the real detachment (in which W's comments and actions no longer affected me and I felt independent and in control of my own destiny again) was about 2 months after S.
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When you truly detach, do these mood swings go away?
I can't speak for everyone, but for me, definitely. My W isn't a crazy MLCer or anything, if she were then I'm sure I'd get more caught up in the roller coaster. But as it is she's a pretty "low energy" WAW and her attitude and actions no longer affect me at all. I'm actually a lot happier now than I was in the last several years of my marriage. I'm not saying I don't want to reconcile, but I am saying that my current and future contentment with my life does not hinge on reconciliation.
