First Timer

[wolverine1997]

WENT TO COUNSELING, BIG MISTAKE. MAJOR SETBACK YESTERDAY!!!
Wife and I went to a family counselor last night. I was already a little leary because I figured that it would turn into a husband bashing session. What an understatement. My wife got their before me and I could tell that she did not want to be there. That set the tone for everything else. The therapist asked why we were there and I told him because we were having marital problems and that she had filed for divorce. The session began with the counselor explaining that my insurance does not cover marital counseling only family and/or personal problems such depression, abuse, etc. But he could talk to me if one of us had a problem, was sad, suicidal, depressed, yada, yada, yada. I told him that yeah, I am depressed because my wife wants a divorce. I then told him that she was willing to give me time to work things out. My wife then went off. She made it very clear that she still wanted a divorce but that she was just giving me the time that I asked for. She then began to tell him everything that I ever did wrong in this marriage. Some of it real, some exaggerated, some of it I have no idea what she was talking about. This went on for about 5-10 minutes with no comments from me. When it was all said and done we all decided that I would come back on my own. She stated that she did not need to come and was fine with how everything was.

After leaving the therapist I asked her to go and get something to eat, she agreed. I then asked her if she still was going to give me the 6 months to see if things could be improved. She said that she still planned to do that but just wanted to make known that nothing had changed as far as her wanting a divorce. She then continued to express how the terrible way I had treated her over the years has led to her current feelings and disposition. And that she liked her new personality and attitude. This barrage continued on throughout the meal. It got a little heated and we both got a little aggrevated but I was able to end things on a fairly positive note. I can clearly see now that I must not get into conversations about the past. That is a fight that I simply can't win. The hard part is trying to get her not to go down that road everytime we talk.

Once we got home things were a little better. The kids were horsing around and chasing each other. We both kind of joined in and had a good laugh. We then began to talk about the upcoming family trip to the autism conference. The night ended somewhat on a pleasant note. But I will not continue any counseling with her anytime soon. This was the worst day of a good week.