I want to save my marriage from the Other Woman

[rubysgem]

I have read all the texts and articles I can find on this site and in Michele's books. My husband has not. He has read some select things that were of interest to him and understand certain concepts like that he has to completely get rid of her to give us any chance. Last night was the first time he sounded like an adult but it scared me that he said Divorce.

I tried Marriage Builders but they insist I Plan B and cut him off. I can't do that. It really made things worse even though they insist it works. I think it pushed him further away and thought well, she isn't paying me any mind and this woman is so she must not love me. Last night he said he still loves me.

Our History:

We married in 2008 after a 2 year relationship. We got engaged in under a year. BTW, last night he was telling me that maybe we just wanted to be with someone and it wasn't as "special" as we believed. I asked him to not do that. Not to rewrite our love story because he is confused, that what we had WAS special. Anyway... shortly after we married I began fertility treatments. Took hormone pills then the shots. We began having issues when the hormones caused mood swings. I was mean and angry. I kept saying I don't know what's happening I don't know what's wrong I need help. Then I began having health issues. It wasn't until just before he left that I was diagnosed as having Hashimoto's Disease. I then got pregnant naturally and miscarried because I wasn't on right thyroid meds yet. He left soon after - mood swings again. I did not know the connectiong betweeen thyroid and hormones and neither did he. He just thought I was crazy. He began the affair when I was pregnant even.

Right before we married, he had neck surgery and was incapacitated for a long time. I took care of him. He didn't work. He sued and won a hefty settlement, which I think OW is after. Everyone tells me that all she talks about is how she lost her marriage and now my husband will take care of her. He's even said he feels responsible for her situation. I also had my thyroid removed since we separated and I am such a better person with a normal and even temperment all the time. But he isn't giving me the time to see that. He insists he met her for a reason. I swear this is fog babble.

I probably left some things out so ask anything you want to know. He was unhappy with the constant tension my mood swings created. He complained to her, she was unhappy in her marriage too and then began the affair where they are "soulmates" and "meant to be" and I believe this is hogwash.