Would post in angry red but I know its a pain to read that color.
H did his "jump" at his computer again, just before he left for work.
So,yes, then I snooped.
Yes, there were all sort of communications with ow. He sent her the lyrics to "Fly Me to the Moon"
She told him she loved him, is lonely, misses him.
So, I fb messaged ow's H, called ow (who wouldn't talk to me. I was very polite and controlled. Just told her I'd like to get her side of the story. She said she'd call me back. I'm betting she doesn't.)
Then I called H and told him I'd called ow so he might get a phone call from her.
And I'm ready to face the wrath of a p*ssed off hubby after work.
I WANT HIM TO GO.
GO GO GO.
I don't care where and I don't care how.
Me 46 H 56 M 22 yrs S22, D20, Twin Ss18
You teach people how to treat you by what you allow. What you stop. And what you reinforce. ~~~~~~~ A lack of boundaries invites a lack of respect.
Good luck when you talk to him - be calm (hard I know) and very clear about what you want. Don't let him turn things around on you - they can be very good at that!
Your H may have to finally face the consequences of his actions. His problem.
Let us know how it goes. We'll be thinking of you
Bomb January 2012 - doesn't feel the same about me
~ "There is nothing love cannot face; there is no limit to its faith, hope, and endurance."
I completely understand where you are coming from!
To be honest, if the opportunity presented itself that I had indisputable evidence of OW, my H would be gone too.
Just don't let your anger and hurt drive the conversation, don't let him see you upset. Perhaps the more calm you are, the more nervous he will be. He is expecting you to act like a maniac. Prove him wrong.
You are the prize... And he has to prove himself worthy of you. Worthy in actions, not words.
You can do this
Bomb January 2012 - doesn't feel the same about me
~ "There is nothing love cannot face; there is no limit to its faith, hope, and endurance."
Just don't let your anger and hurt drive the conversation, don't let him see you upset. Perhaps the more calm you are, the more nervous he will be. He is expecting you to act like a maniac. Prove him wrong.
I am feeling surprisingly calm - so far. I really astonished myself on the phone call to the ow - I could have been asking for directions to the local store, that's how emotional I was. (She still hasn't phoned back, btw.)
When H phoned earlier, playing all dumb, I told him I hoped we could have a civil conversation. Said I will struggle with that because I am upset, but that I will do my best. In return I asked him to be honest with me. (HAH. I don't expect this, but figured I'd give it a shot.) This prelude was when he said "Oh. Maybe we better do this face to face." Throughout my tone was "business like".
I am determined to take "the high road" here, not succumb to Jerry Springer antics. Hopefully I can keep my demeanor. (Although, in mentally rehearsing the upcoming confrontation I just know H is going to ask "where am I supposed to go?" And I SO want to say "How about you "FLY TO THE MOON" " (ALA the nauseating song lyrics she sent.)
Thanks again for the encouraging words!!
Me 46 H 56 M 22 yrs S22, D20, Twin Ss18
You teach people how to treat you by what you allow. What you stop. And what you reinforce. ~~~~~~~ A lack of boundaries invites a lack of respect.
Is there some reason you have to believe that H is not an addict? It certainly looks as if he is a gambling addict and a sex addict. Addicts notoriously appear to be narcissistic, when the problem is the addiction rather than narcissism. Perhaps you might try some sort of codependency group meetings?
