Divorced-not done-But wondering ?

[Pmac21]

JJ, I really love your thread! Like you, I had a WAW and like you, I want her back with all my heart. Unfortunately I did everything wrong once I found out about her affair & MLC. I begged for her, displayed all the wrong needy traits, etc. We were married 13 years and I truly did not see it coming. Our M was not perfect, but whose is, right? What I didn't realize until it was too late was the gripes she had about the marriage were really big deals to her.

The classic WAW is someone who appears to just leave without much warning (or have an affair, then leave). Our sitches are a little different because mine had an affair and it doesn't look like yours did (but do you really know for sure).

The point is that there was enough bothering our exes that they felt leaving the marriage was better than trying to repair it. I'm like you, I was in it until death do us part. And, I would have done anything to fix it.

I agree that it blows when we still want to reconcile but our exes have moved on. Look, I have read way too many stories on this site and others about being patient, praying, getting our lives back on track, and reconciliations still happen months of years after the D is final. I am going to keep praying for divine intervention, but I'm going to live the life that God would want me to live until it occurs.

I'm struggling with detachment at the moment but I am as hopeful as ever that real progress is right around the corner for me. I am so inspired by how you are doing. I hope to get there soon. One of the biggest issues for me was that a couple of weeks before I found out about her affair, I took a one year severance package from my high paying job. Unbelievably, I haven't found work over a year later in this economy.

Part of me thinks that she no longer sees me as the wealthy, confident man I always was. Getting my career back on track is a top priority and will need a little luck & help from God.

I look forward to encouraging you as you attempt to reconcile with your ex. Bert if luck.