Newman, you've been in your sitch a lot longer than I've been in mine, but I certainly sympathize with your comments as I'm going through the same thoughts in my sitch. In my case we are separated, and I can tell you that it does change the dynamic a lot. So if you feel stuck then I think separation is something you should strongly consider. It will give your W more time and space than she can ever get at home, and it will give both of you a new perspective on the sitch. Good luck!!
