Thanks

[AnotherStander]

In reading your response to my comments I honestly think you're in a very good place You have a good grasp of DB'ing principals and it sounds like you are applying them correctly.

More of a struggle is how to handle OM. Me contacting him or his W would, of course, stir the pot and potentially push W & OM closer together. BUT, I DO NOT know what their relationship status is. Bringing this up COULD undo the work I've done to be a man only a fool would leave and that I'm moving on regardless

I've read several threads here where the H (not sure why, but it always seems to be men that do this rather than women) decided to contact/ confront the OM and it has always ended up blowing up in their face. Their W gets exceedingly angry that they intervened, and they view it was controlling, manipulative behavior which is often why they are escaping the M in the first place. It is fine to confront your W about it, but it's best not to contact OM. Just try to keep in mind that OM is a symptom of a problem, not the problem itself.

I have also learned through this most recent "find" that as badly as I want to reconcile, I have some major trust issues that would have to be worked through for our R to be mended. I don't think that is unreasonable, but it is there.

Absolutely, I'd venture that ALL of us have that bridge to cross if/ when we reconcile. The Piecing forum is filled with threads where the WAS returns and the LBS is suddenly struggling with trust issues. That's maybe the biggest challenge for the LBS in piecing. It's not insurmountable, but it isn't easy to deal with either.

If given the opportunity, I want to take things slow. The old marriage, though not final, is dead. Date again. Grow together again. Be sure of things. THEN move home.

Exactly right. The old timers in the Piecing forum offer much the same advice!