Is there light at the end of the tunnel Part 1?

[Bel123]

Hello Breakdown… I will have to check out that survey and see what it says about me. I am sure I am in some way judgmental since everyone thinks so but I guess I need to figure out what/why that is and see if I can address it. Because I honestly don’t want to be like that.

How did you decide what to work on first btw?

As far as C, we each have an IC and we have a MC so for someone that is used to keep his feelings in, this has been a lot of talking and exploring of emotions which I use to ignore before. It is hard sometimes but at least it is a place to talk out loud what I am thinking and feeling about the M and everything else (at least in my IC).

My anger issues I think were more from the younger me and saw that growing up and thought that is how a man is supposed to be but I have changed so much in recognizing it and trying not to be so angry. Especially after the kids, I am trying to not bring them in the same environment I grew up in. I have been trying to be a better person and even W would say that during MC that I am not as angry as I used to be. And no, most of my anger were not towards W but everything else. I am a down to earth kind of guy but when someone crossed me I would not let it go and that’s where the anger was towards.

The controlling I am not sure if it’s from the way I grew up. It usually happens when I feel like I am loosing W. Like I said other times I don’t act this way but when I feel she is distancing herself from me and I see the possibly of losing her I react and try to control the situation. Deep down I know I am not able to control her action and feelings and NOW I know more when I try to control the situation it makes it worse. The way I was seeing it first is if I can show her from my side of it, she would understand and would do the “right” thing. Which might be right for me but not her or anyone else. But all that does is push her away.