Tired of Dealing with MLC

[rosesarered]

I am starting a new thread, this time in the MLC forum. Here is my old thread from Newcomers:
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2326956&page=1

Here is a quick recap of my story.

H and I have been separated since last Easter. H moved out of the house in July. So it had been almost a year. I have witnessed the MLC stages. It has been over-whelming yet fascinating. He has gone through the Denial and Anger. I believe he is still in Replay combined with underlying depression. Although he is not as depressed as he was before. He is no longer angry but he is still searching for happiness. He does this by exploring different interests. right now he is working on opening a Chicken Food Truck. He is also considering investing in Restaurant in NY. This is very unlike him (the old him).

H comes home for dinner every night. We take turns making it. He stays until 9 or so and then leaves. He comes home most weekends to hang out with the kids. H still says he is trying. He does bring me gifts now and then. H primary love language it acts of service and giving gifts. (Mine are physical touch and quality time). I do see the effort there from him. Problem is that I just want to spend time with him, go on dates etc. I know - zero expectations.

I have a lot of built up resentment towards him which I am working through by going to yoga and other GAL activities.

The other week, we had an incident which you can read on my other thread, but as a result, he took the kids all weekend and next weekend I have them. After that, we will go back to normal he say.

Last weekend, he took the kids all weekend. It was the first time I slept in, in 9 months. It was great. I kept busy all weekend.


Am I enabling this behavior by letting him come home every night and on weekends. Am I being too nice. The kids really enjoy him and want him around. Also, for the most part I enjoy having him around. Last night we all played darts as a family. It was fun.

I am supposed to have the kids this weekend. He asked if he could come over for lunch on Saturday to make the kids lunch and hang out until we have to go to a Bday party at 2. Should I tell him no.

Last week, I told him that I couldn't do this anymore and that I was exploring D. He seemed to agree at first, but then started pushing back and sharing the ways he is trying and still wants to try. But he is the one that left. He left the discussion by telling me he would think about what I said. So last night, I just brought up again that we need to think about splitting our joint account and credit cards. He looked at me in disbelief and said fine. He said, but its all the same, isn't that the last thing you do in the process. I said, no, a Lawyer will tell you its the first thing.

I think that he thinks that he can just live like this forever. He asked, Why does it have to be all or nothing. Why can't he come hang out and spend time with the kids, etc.