Almost two years and still stuck in limbo

[newman7977]

Here are my threads, looks like the last one has been locked:

1) http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubb...117#Post2285117

2) http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2286358&page=11

Update:

Yes we are still stuck in limbo. Nothing changed, my W is still don't have those "loving feelings" towards me and because of that she doesn't have the drive to work on the marriage.

What am I doing for myself? Well my focus is with the kids. I'm still involved a lot with them, taking s13 to basketball, hanging out with d18, and taking care of s3. I still continue to go to the market weekly (it's my 180 two years ago). I'm also riding my bike Saturdays, and am training for another charity event at the end of April.

I've been flip flopping lately about filing for D or separation. I really don't want to be with anyone who doesn't love me anymore. Sometimes my feelings are so strong about letting my wife go, but she won't move out. She told me one day that she won't just pack up her bags and leave the kids...so lately, she is just ok living together without intimacy.

We are also now in a sex less marriage. Its all piling up I don't know, if it wasn't for the kids I definitely would've left. I still hopeful for reconciliation but as the days go by, the more I feel no chance.

One day I told her in the middle of R talk, that if she wants those feelings to come back, she should stop talking to OM. Of course she denied that she's still talking to him, but I told her this marriage won't stand a chance if she's still meeting her needs with him. I really do think she is still talking to OM.

I don't have any solid proof but I do want to be informed. Yes I'm tracking her move by using the iphone app. I know, this is frowned upon DB ways, but I do want to know.

I started noting that some days she would park her car a block away from our house before I get home from work and she would stay there for about 30 mins on those days doing who knows what. She's not on the phone and she can't be with OM since he's few states away, so the only thing I can think of is that maybe she's got another phone and conversing with OM. I don't have a solid proof so I'm sitting on this info right now. When I confirm, then my decision would be to file for D. Like some would say here I will remove myself from the sitch.

I don't know right now we are still together but it's not helping the limbo state. I think at one point we'd have to discuss our separation. I think the only chance for this marriage is for us to separate and to give her the reality of what she's thinking that would make her happy, the life without me. Maybe it is what's going to make her happy, who knows. But I accept either ways.

I just feel so bad for the kids and that's what's keeping me to stay and give it a chance. It really breaks my heart if I'm the one who would initiate separation or filing...but at the same time I just can't live like this anymore.

Well, that's all I have right now til next update thanks for reading.

Newman