Life, One Day at a Time (22 months)

[keep_going]

RockJC's post has really made me think - thank you for sharing and sorry Ad for the hijack.

I agree that there are situations were marriages should end. Physical abuse is clearly one most people would put in that category.

I also don't believe mine is one of those M that should end, or I wouldn't be on these boards. I thought we should have had a lot more fight in us given the fact that at bomb time, we had two toddlers and I was just 9 weeks pregnant. Yet, my H honestly thought that he would die if he had stayed in this M and that our kids' lives would be forever ruined.

Was he immature, spiritually lost, or simply someone with a different view from mine of what is acceptable in a M? He truly believes he nurtured our R and was honest and dependable but didn't receive the same back from me. He believes he tried his best until the day he left to communicate and resolve problems and I simply never responded.

While I might not agree with him, I can't really argue because we are not talking about something that either of us could prove or disprove beyond a shadow of a doubt. So in that sense, it's really not all black and white in my view.

I do completely agree that we both should have learned many tough lessons about M and love before giving up, yet we didn't. So maybe you are right (and it's sad), that perhaps it will take our failed M to learn those lessons. At least my H believes so as he has told me he is trying to learn from all the mistakes he made with me so he can have a better R with OW.