In Celebrate Recovery tonight we had a guy admit to being molested by another man when he was a boy. This gave me the courage to admit this as well. This is something that i have told no one; not even my wife. I was in the second grade and the boy was a little older than me and it only happened one time. I went home and felt ashamed of me. I have a need to please women constantly, I cannot stand for a women to be unhappy with me. I wonder how much of this need is related to my experience as a young child. I wonder how much of an impact this has on me and my ability to really share with women in my life. I feel the need to cover this up because I do not want to be seen as less than or as a homosexual. I know this is intellectually incorrect to feel this way however... I was only a boy...

I feel God moving in my life my wife leaving me has forced me to face my demons and they are not nearly as scary as i thought they would be. God is working and showing me a way forward. My wife may divorce me but I know God is here with me. I may have been taking advantage of, but God is right here with me. For the first time in my life I feel loved by God, amazing that through this pain I find him. I am truly blessed.

You can not change your past, but you can ruin a perfectly good present by worrying about the future.