25yearsmlc

[25yearsmlc]

I'm heading to the counselor's tomorrow with the kids. I'ill listen to them and leave them with counselor to speak on their own.

I have a lot of confidence in the counselor, a male PhD. I know that may sound like a silly thing to note but his being male will help for a few reasons, I THINK...and the PhD gives him credibility to my h and to my son, and the fact is that after meeting maybe 5 various counselor's over the years, this is only the 2nd male and he's a man's man. H likes him, and that made a huge difference to our benefitting.

Will let you know. Adinva if you're out there, I'm still writing a reply to you but wish we connected in the alt unverse. ALSO, if you (or anyone else) have questions for me to have the kids ask the c, let me know.

The plan is later to meet together and figure out what THEY need from their dad before they approach him. Then we can all meet as a family. This might seem weird b/c h isn't part of it yet but for now, I really want the kids to feel safe but also to know that some things, are beyond their input. They do not get to make our financial choices or come between us...

but I think h owes them an apology and some explanations.

And the 15 y/o...OMG that girl can definitely fit the stereotype of a teenager with a biting wit...sometimes more witty than biting but sometimes more biting than anything...and she does need to tone the 'tude down.

For some reason I feel pretty hopeful. Then again, as much as this bothers me -tonight, I feel centered and at peace with who I am as a mother and wife. And while their relationships can affect me, b/c of the atmosphere, that does not mean they'll get inside my core.

I'm going to be alright no matter what happens. Yes it Sure would be nice if we could have a more harmonious family life. But they all have to want that. And I do not control what they want.

I'm not sure all the kids do want that. S26 seems to want to punish h more. (I'm mind reading, yes. But hey, that's my take on it). D24 wants harmony, and would do the work to get it (and in some ways she was the most affected at the time) and d15 is probably on the fence but is very skeptical.

Cross your fingers!