And to re-cap so I get it, your h seems to have said some very positive things. Said he WANTS to reconcile...but is not ready to move back in?
What has he DONE that support the reconciling comments? It's okay if it's not much or if it's a lot. I think I just missed some.
What if you just decided not to decide?
Like, it's great that he's with your son more. And he's not rude or weird to you...but YOU are not ready to say yes yet.
I think Starsky's initial comment about "not so fast, I'm not sure what I want/need for a reconciliation" is TRUE for you. And recons that don't work tend to fail b/c they are rushed, I agree.
I'm not super big on writing a letter b/c I thought you wanted your h to come up with ways to regain trust. BUT IF YOU want or need the letter, so be it. I'm just not clear.
AND if he thinks YOU have too many triggers to move back in, what does that mean? Any validity? IF SO, What are you doing to work on those?
I mean, do you go off on him? I also agree the money has to be totally unrelated to the letter.
Maybe related to reconciling (I'd sure asssume so) but not connected to the letter. Just seems...strange. But you said you do better communication when you think it out ahead.
Maybe We can role play if you want sometime. Practice what you'll say and make it like a decision tree. "IF he says x, then you say THIS" and "if he says 'y', you react this way instead" etc.
Make sense?
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
