PON, has your view of your w over the past couple of years changed at all? I see an astonishing change in your lucidity and general peace of mind. I wonder if you see the past differently now? I wonder how you view those posts that have been deleted now?
Adinva 51, S20, S18 M24 total 6/15/11-12/1/12 From IDLY to H moving out 9/15/15-3/7/17 From negotiating SA to final D at age 50 5/8/17-now: New relationship with an old friend __ Happiness is a warm puppy.
Ad thx for the post. I appreciate your ongoing support. I also wish you luck in your sitch and personal growth.
Ad the bottom line is my W was not wrong with all her assessments about me. Do I think all her views were correct? HELL no. I am almost glad this happened to me. It made me realize that I need to make a lot of personal growth changes in myself.
Do I think my W being home for 7 years with 2 kids came into play to our issues. yes. There was a ton of moving parts here. At the end of the day I am owning mine and by me doing this I am becoming a better person.
EE.org has changed my life. For example. I was on the phone for 1 hour today on my ride into work getting support from an EE grad unrelated to my W. (my mother actually). I look at things completely different. 25 said it was life changing and for me it is.
I think if I went back and reviewed all my posts I would see how pathetic, self centered, victimized I was. I prefer not to do this.
I can't read my posts from the darkest days...I either get mad at the old me or I get mad at h all over again, or I'm just mortified that I whined so much and spun my wheels for so long...
Whoever wrote "From this day forward" and put it into our wedding vows, was a genius.
Keep up the great work PON.
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
I am almost glad this happened to me. It made me realize that I need to make a lot of personal growth changes in myself.
PON, I'm not sure I 've ever posted to you but this ^^^^ is SOO powerful. Once you not only acknowledge but BELIEVE that even the darkest of days - there is a positivity, the fear is gone. You no longer worry or fear making a wrong decision.. because you know good will always triumph (sorry for the super cheese line)
But my point is it's only when we stop learning to fear life, that we can live it.. full of love, grace, and compassion.....
... and that's when it get's really exciting!!
Congrats on CONTINUING to take the life changing steps. As we say here...
Keep on keeping on.
M(f): 40 D'ed: 8/12
Show empathy when there's pain. Show grace when warranted. Kindness in the midst of anger. Faith in the face of fear.
Yeah, that is truely awesome. Slowly, my fears aren't controlling my actions, pervading all my thoughts.
M: 9 yrs T: 13 yrs H:34 Me:35, S4, D2, S 7 months Dday 11/12-PA & multiple PAs Dbing 12/12 S 1/13 7/13 H moved back in basement. 8/13 #3 born 10/13 still cheating 10/13 He moves across country, I file for D
Had small conversation with W yesterday. In a round about way she told me one reason she stayed was my willingness to change my ineffective behaviors. (EE,Counseling, ACOA)
It was nice to hear her say that without me having to tell her Im working on myself
[quote=PowerOfNow]I am almost glad this happened to me. It made me realize that I need to make a lot of personal growth But my point is it's only when we stop learning to fear life, that we can live it.. full of love, grace, and compassion.....
... and that's when it get's really exciting!!
Congrats on CONTINUING to take the life changing steps. As we say here...
Keep on keeping on.
I have always maintained that if this entire situation didn't happen, I would have never looked at who I was, looked at who H was, and probably would have done irreparable damage to our relationship and possibly my family as well. It's a gift.. Not an especially pretty one, or even a wanted one, but a gift nonetheless.
Had small conversation with W yesterday. In a round about way she told me one reason she stayed was my willingness to change my ineffective behaviors. (EE,Counseling, ACOA)
that is a frickin' huge thing to say
It was nice to hear her say that without me having to tell her Im working on myself
yes it is SO nice to hear!
The value of EE and ACOA the other 180s and GAL things-
all lay in the changes seen AND felt in and by - YOU.
Well done my friend. SO WELL DONE!
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
