i do not think it is your job (philosophically speaking) to save him- and i do not believe YOU can even if you want to. like an alcoholic or anyone immersed totally in their own emotional/addiction/ mental battle- they have to want it themselves. it's the unfortunate truth - much as we'd like to help or feel compelled to try.
you wanting to help him might be nice for him to know - but it CAN'T INstill inside him the will and ability to pull himself up and do it. only he can ...
putting in God's hands is probably best you can do for him and you. you'll just make yourself a basket case if you even begin to think you can make a giant difference. we are not Gods -
when i allow myself to feel responsible for solving someone's giant problem- it only makes me end up hating myself and them and everyone (a bit) - failure is built it. because it is just not doable by us.
my sitch probably seems like child's play to you when your h is in such bad shape. idk- does KNOWING he's in pain and crisis really help you get thru it? it sounds like it makes you as hurt and nuts as me. '
i'm thinking we're both tired to point of "handing it over" to someone else- them (if they'd only see it - do it) or God - because we fight a losing battle if we think we've got any real power in it all.
just my rather hopeless (but maybe useful) position today. maybe there's some freedom and peace of mind in letting go?
i was soooo raised to fix things- and help people and kids and take care of everyone- andmake people like me- wtf??? it's hard to accept , but
i'm workin on it today- no energy to even get totally upset-
just that my mind notices - and it flits out the other side of my brain-
am i wimping out? am i trying to let myself "off the hoook? or is it a valid position? whattya think?
OTHER NOTE - It's really something the way you can pinpoint your h's stages and where he's been in hislife - and the things that were pivotal that happened and he's reliving.
i wish i had something like that i could pinpoint so i felt like i had one tiny grasp of any bit of his reality. i just don't get it - he's had such a good life. aside from his mother leaving him w/ jerky dad - he's had it all and more and has got it all now. . what could this guy WANT FROM LIFE anyway???
good news - drinking alot of coffee daily (according to LifeExtension Magazine) will give me a 70% less likelihood of developing alzheimers - i'll take it.
how convenient that my one giant un-conquerable addiction NOW TURNS OUT to be a good thing!!!
((( )))
tired and saying lets do it- lets hand this allll off to God - we're just girls who want to be happy and want love. not psychiatrist storm troopers...
